By: Catarina Santos Faria
Psychologist

Celebrating memories

We all know the importance of a mother figure in our lives, we all develop a very especial relationship with our mothers.
This relationship may be more or less affective, nevertheless the bond to a mother is undeniable. Whilst those who somehow have their mother’s presence in their lives celebrate the Mothering Sunday, what do those who can’t share this day with their mothers do?

The understanding about loss depends on each individual’s religious belief, yet every loss makes us reflect on how we enjoy the moments we spend next to those we love. Through this small space I’d like to revive the memories of all of those who have experienced the loss of their mothers and, this way, pay them a tribute.

The memory provides us with the ability to revive feelings that the absence couldn’t erase.

As much as we may hear that death is natural, and we know that it’s inevitable, having to accept a life without our mother figure is one of the most difficult experiences one may go through. When the loss of our mother happens we are invaded by an overwhelming emptiness; we isolate ourselves; we feel anger, sadness, an never ending revolt, an unexplainable despair and emotional imbalance. All of these feelings and emotions are part of a process that we must go through in order to heal the loss.
Time goes by and demands that we accept our new reality, learn to face the loss and live with the absence, but time can’t erase the memories.

Learning to live with a loved one’s absence doesn’t mean living without memories.

Memories are a solid way of feeling someone’s presence in their absence. We know that memories change with time, they fade away, they stop being loyal copies of what we’ve lived. We stop remembering important things like the person’s touch, scent and voice, yet we never forget what we felt for the person. When this day comes, allow yourself a moment of silence, a deep breath involved by a smile and along with a happy memory that you experienced with your mother.

Celebrate your memories and allow them to remain in your mind through time.

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